Chapter 1

 We are the children of God by faith; but whose faith makes us to his children?

In 1976, I had invited a man, who I had recently met, over to my house to eat dinner with my wife and I. Though I had only known this man for a short period of time, he and I had almost instantly become best friends. I was really looking forward to that evening of fellowship. When we had finished eating dinner, we all moved into the den for conversation. We had no sooner sat down when both my friend and his wife began to witness to my wife and I about Jesus Christ. Immediately my heart sank with utter disappointment when I heard their words. I even felt betrayed that this man would actually come into my house and begin to speak about Jesus to me. The reason was because I was an atheist. I had absolutely no belief that God existed, nor did I have any belief that there was any kind of after life for anyone. I absolutely detested any conversation that contained anything about God or that had any kind of spiritual context, from Christianity to witchcraft. But because this man had become one of best friends, I just sat there, biting my lip and cursing him under my breath while they testified before us for about 30 minutes. Suddenly he said something that I had never heard before; and that was if any man would believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God, then God would give to that man the gift of the Holy Spirit, which was the power of God to change a man’s life. I was around 27 years old at that time, I had never once heard of this Holy Spirit, and it also aroused my curiosity to know why would he want to change a man’s life? I even had the thought that if there was a God, then I was good guy, so why change me? My curiosity about these things only lasted for a very short time, then after only a couple of days, I forget what he had told me.

Then three years later, in 1980, all of the circumstances in my life began to take on drastic changes. My father died, my marriage was very strained, and I had no clue as to what I was going to do with my life. My first full time job was with South Carolina National Bank, and in my first year end review, they told me that I had done the best job that anyone else had ever done in the first year that was in my position. I went home that night thinking about what they had said, and the next day I went in and quit. I had never had the thought about quitting until they told me that I had done so well. I thought that if I had performed the best job that anyone had previously done, and I found no contentment or satisfaction in that job, then why stay? I then took a position as a salesman for Colgate-Palmolive, and quit after a year. Then I worked as a clerk on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, and quit after a month. Then I became Real Estate salesman, and a broker, and quit a couple years. Then I got my contractors license, designed and built houses, and quit after another couple of years. Then I was one of the first developers of waterslides when they first became popular, even having a 5 page pictorial display in Life magazine of one that I developed in Florida, and then I quit. I had no clue that my atheistic beliefs were destroying my life because I could not find any satisfaction, contentment, or peace in anything that I did.

As an atheist, I was trying to live all of eternity during this lifetime. The fear of death haunted me daily. I was lost, and I had no clue as to who I was or where I was going. Then came this Saturday morning when my wife had taken our children to the grocery store, and I was left there standing in my den, all confused and full of despair. Suddenly, without me taking any thought to do so, my knees just buckled, and I was headed to the floor. While I was falling, I remembered what my friend had told me about Jesus. I had no sooner hit the floor when I said, “Lord, if this is what this world is all about, then I do not want any part of it. I will do whatever you want me to do.” I had no sooner finished speaking these two sentences when the Holy Spirit fell all over me and in me. When the fear of having this tremendous power of God come in me finally subsided, all my despair and confusion were gone. All of the despair, the dissatisfaction, the frustration, the depression, the discontentment, and the confusion that had been my reality for several months was completely gone; and so also was fear of death that had visited my thoughts on a daily basis. The peace of God like nothing that I had ever experienced, had just become my new reality.

I had just got my first taste of the Lord, and he was good; so good that I started diligently seeking for him everyday. The first year I was with the Lord was like I was in heaven everyday, for his presence was with me daily. In that year the Lord completely delivered me from a 18 year, 2 ½ packs a day smoking habit; he delivered from cursing, which as an atheist I knew how do well; he delivered from that fear of death; and he began to deliver from the thing that I hated most, my disgusting temper. I was experiencing exactly that which my friend had testified that I would, the power of the Holy Spirit changing my life. I had many different testimonies of one wonderful work after another that the Lord had done for me.

Then one morning I woke up, and the presence of the Lord had completely departed from me, and I almost felt as bad as I did when I was an atheist. I thought that I must have committed some dreadful sin for him to do this to me. But I prayed and asked the Lord to show me what I had done so that I could repent and so that his presence might return to me. Then the Lord answered me and said that it was time for him to start working in my faith and my belief, and that he could not do these things as long as I was in his presence. He told me that faith and belief were those two treasured gifts that would keep me when I was not in his presence. I was so disappointed at what he had said to me, but I said, “Whatever it takes you to do Lord that will allow for me to return into your presence.“ It then took me a while before I came to realize that all that I had received on that first day was just that, only a taste of the Lord. That taste only consisted, as the scriptures reveal, to only be the “earnest (deposit)” of his Spirit; and this earnest of the Spirit consisted of the joy and the peace that is accompanied with the belief that God is real, that Jesus is truly his Son; that Jesus was crucified and then raised from the dead; and the belief that our sins are covered by his blood. I was not ready to call this taste to be the entire feast, and with hope, I sought to know if it was possible to come into that place where I could dwell in his presence at all times. This was my hope; and even though hope is not that which you can see with your eyes, I believed it to be real and true.

II Corinthians 1:21,22 (ASV) “Now he that establisheth us with you in Christ, and anointed us, is God; who also sealed us, and gave us the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts.

Earnest: deposit; pledge

Psalm 34:8 (NIV) “Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.”

Psalm 27:13 NIV I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

When I came to see that I had only experienced a taste of that which is real and true, as well as that which is living and good, I obviously wanted much more because it was far better than anything that I have ever experienced in my life without him. I then came to realize that my first tastes, or that first belief that God and Jesus were real and true, only worked to satisfy my desire for a short period. I also realized that this first belief really does not identify the real and true nature of God and Jesus, and that is what I wanted to know. I wanted his joy and his peace to continue to abide in me, and it was at this time that I decided that this is what I was going to make my quest to be, even if it took me a lifetime to find it; and that was/is to come to know all that I could about this wonderful God who had touched me with his love and turned my life so wonderfully upside down. I immediately gave myself to daily seeking to know the Lord through prayer and reading the scriptures. I would not pass up any opportunity to listen to any testimonies as long as it spoke about what the Lord was doing or saying because I wanted to learn all that I could about what God was doing in others so that I might also receive it for myself. I wanted much more than the earnest of his Spirit. I wanted all then, and I want all now. Little did I know then that in the 6000 + or - years since Adam, this is the generation that is actually going to see and receive it all.

Romans 15:13 (ASV) “Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing that you may abound in hope, in the power of the Holy Spirit.”

I Thessalonians 2:13 NIV “And we also thank God continually because, when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of men, but as it actually is, the word of God, which is at work in you who believe.”

 I do not know how it happened, even with the great desire within me to know that which was real and true, but it did. Somewhere in the first few years of my walk, I went from hearing the testimonies told by others of wonderful works that the Lord was doing in their lives to where I just seem to be in those places were was only hearing testimonies from men about the wonderful works they were doing for the Lord. I did not even realize this for quite some time; and the more that I listened to these testimonies, I felt like I should be doing the same. When I started doing these same works, I then felt like it was my duty to testify of what I was doing, and I encourage others to do things I was doing. I had gotten to a place in my walk where I had become self-righteous, only doing those things that seemed right in my own eyes. I was not even aware of this because these works surely seemed right in my own eyes, especially seeing that the scriptures also seem to confirm that these were things that I should be doing. I fed the poor, I had a prison ministry, I visited those who were sick, and so forth, and so on; and just like Jesus instructed us, I did not tell anyone of these works that I was doing. In doing these good works, I really felt like I was doing those things that were pleasing in the sight of God, and that this would then lead me to grow closer to God.

After a time, a problem arouse that greatly troubled me. My problem was that the more I did these righteous works, the emptier I began to feel, and the more I felt like I was getting farther and farther from the presence of the Lord. I felt more like I was headed into some kind of desolate and dry wilderness where there was no life, rather than into the life that one experiences in the presence of God. Now I know that when you walk by faith that many times you do not feel the presence of God, and that was okay because I knew that true faith was not a feeling. But I also knew that the Lord delighted for us to continually come into his presence, and years had rolled by without me experiencing his presence one time. I was feeling like I was on the outside looking to get back in, but could not find out how. I felt like my entire relationship with the Lord had become very strained. My heart was still filled with a zeal for God, and I was doing more "righteous" works than ever before, but the more I did them, the more I felt like I was missing something; something really big, like joy, and peace, and contentment, and love.

Hebrews 11:6 ASV And without faith it is impossible to be well-pleasing unto him; for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that seek after him.

I seemed to be fine as long as I was around other brethren that were also testifying about the works they were doing for the Lord, but when I was alone is when I felt empty, and lost, and completely out of fellowship with the Lord. Joy and peace had really become more like distant memories and words from some alien language that I had forgotten. The thought even came into my mind that I should at least try to pretend like I had joy and peace, but it did not take long before this thought became completely disgusting for me to even think about. I thirsted greatly for that which was/is real and true. Then these lying and pretentious thoughts became to me like the man who is in the middle of the desert who has run out of water. He sees some mirage that appears like that which will be able to quench his thirst, but when he gets there he finds that he was only deceived by the illusions that appear real and true. So also did I see the thoughts of pretending to have joy, and peace, and love, that they were only the lies of hypocrisy (play-acting) that could never able to quench my thirst for the real and true life. I was in a place that felt so empty and void of life that I knew that if something did not happen soon, then it was going to be very difficult for me to walk in the faith that I had much longer. I knew something was wrong with my walk, but what? How can a man understand what is error is if all that which he is doing he believes to be right and true? It was then that I felt the Spirit quickening to me to pray that which is written in Psalm 67:1 “God be merciful to me, and bless me; and cause your face to shine upon me so that your way may be made known to me”. So I did.

Psalm 16:11 Thou wilt show me the path of life: In thy presence is fullness of joy…”

Then, for the next several weeks, every time I read the scriptures, it seemed as though the Holy Spirit would always lead me to James 2:19,20 NKJ “You believe that there is one God, you do well. Even the demons believe…and tremble! But do you want to know, 0 foolish man, that faith without works is dead”. Foolish man? Was the Lord trying to tell me that I was a fool? Maybe he was trying to tell me that my faith was dead. I then wondered if there any works that the Lord requires of us that I was not doing. The Lord had quickened this verse to me, but instead of it leading me out of my wilderness, it seemed to only bring more frustration and confusion on me. I did not feel as though this word did anything to encourage me or to refresh me. I then starting getting angry with the Lord because I was blind to see what he was trying to show to me. Whatever these works were that were to accompany my faith, I came to believe that I must not be doing them. I then became offended at the Lord because I felt like I was doing more works than any 5 other Christians that I knew. After a few days I calmed down, and I began to examine my faith like asking myself, “Is my faith really established on hearing the word of God?” Even with this self-examination, I still could not see any error in my faith, or in the woks that I was doing. Finally I came to the conclusion that I must not be seeing or understanding James 2:20 in the manner that the Lord was desiring for me to see and understand.

Job 33:14 “For God speaks once, yea twice, yet man perceives it not.”

I had become so desolate of life by this time, that I was really quite willing to hear the truth about what the Lord had to say, as long as it would fill my emptiness and quench my thirst for his presence. It seemed like the Lord was using a tactic similar to a tactic that my dad used when fixed dinner for us. Though he was an excellent cook, he would still make us wait until it got late before he would serve us, making sure that we would always be really hungry when we ate. He said that the longer he made us wait, the better the food would taste. Now here I was in an identical situation, only spiritual; for I was all hungry and thirsty for the life that comes when the Lord is present, the life that only the Lord is able to prepare and serve. It was uncanny; for at next three weeks, every time I read the scriptures, even if I started reading somewhere like Exodus, somehow, without me even being conscious as to how, I would always end back up at James 2:19,20. This just agitated and frustrated me the more, even feeling as though the Lord was somehow bringing me back to this scripture to make me miserable. I even got to a point that all that I hear in my thoughts was, “Faith without works is dead...Faith without works is dead...Faith without works is dead”.

Psalm 104:27 ASV “These all wait for thee that you mayest give them their food in due season.”

I was at my wits end when one morning, at a point where I felt like I was about to explode from my frustration and confusion. I am so thankful that the Lord allowed for me to pray in this time when I did not feel like praying at all. I prayed saying, “Lord, I have done all of the works that I know how to do; the works that I feel should be accompanying my faith, and I still feel desolate of life. And besides this Lord, I now realize that I am not a smart man, for I cannot even discern between the works of the law, which puts a man under the curse, from the works which should accompany my faith. Lord, how will I know the difference between these two works if you do not show me?” No answer. Nothing. Nada. Silence. My frustration continued. I then prayed, "Lord, if you are willing, would you show me why you keep leading me to this same passage of scripture in James over and over? For I perceive that there is something in this passage of scripture that you want me to see, but I am totally blind to see it; otherwise, why would you not keep leading me back to this same passage? It was just as Jesus said, "The light was shinning in the darkness, but the darkness could not comprehend it"; and my understanding was the darkness.

Ephesians 1:18 ASV “Having the eyes of your understanding enlightened….”

Later that same day, without realizing just how broken and contrite my heart had become, I went to pray again, and before I even had a chance to say a word the Lord spoke to me and said, “If I am not working in your heart, then your faith is dead“. My first response to this word was, “Did I just really hear what I thought I heard the Lord say?” During the previous weeks, I must have entertained at least a thousand different imaginations that all tried to correctly interpret for me what works should accompany my faith, and not one of these thoughts ever suggested that it was the works that the Lord that should. This new revelation of understanding of James 2:20 was so powerful to me that it completely stopped me cold in my tracks. I then found myself actually struggling to believe what I had just heard because it was so contrary to everything that I had ever understood or believed about this verse. The more I mediated on what had just been spoken to me, the more astounded and amazed I became at what I had just heard. Wow! This changes everything.

That wow stayed with me for about one minute before a flood of anxiety and fear swept over me. For I then realized that if this was truly the Lord speaking, then all the works that I had been doing of myself were as they say, as dust in the wind, nothing. This was actually my first revelation that was in real and true in the spiritual does not at all agree with that which is real and true in the natural. Could this be? I then became very fearful as I realized how great of an error that I had made for trusting in my own understanding for the interpretation of James 2:20. My natural understanding of this verse had me focused only on my own works while the Spirit was opening my eyes to see that my focus should be on the works of the Lord. I then suddenly felt like I was stripped naked of all the works that I had been trusting in to be righteous and pleasing before the Lord. Even though I had this feeling of nakedness, I also noticed that within me this wonderful feeling of freedom from the burden that my own understanding of James 2:20 had put on myself, trying to please God with my own works. In one word from the Lord, all of works and efforts that I had done for years seem to as though they had been that mirage. I became very fearful because I saw how I had been so confident and so positive that understanding of the scriptures was that which was right, and true, and real. There is nothing that can shake you any harder than when you find out that the things that you have believed and trusted in to be real and true only turned out to be well-crafted illusions of vanity. I then felt so ashamed before the Lord because I knew that his word says that none of us should lean to our own understanding of his words, and yet that is exactly what I had done.

Isaiah 57:12 “I will declare thy righteousness; and thy works; for they shall not profit you.”

Matthew 11:28 “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Hebrews 4:9-11 There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.

It was in that moment that my heart was shaken, that the darkness saw it’s opportunity to come and compass me with fear, to torment me with thoughts of reasonings and doubt. But the Lord, even without me calling out to him, having this attack on me, and he spoke to me in the most loving and compassionate voice saying, “Mitt, do not be afraid of that what your ears have just heard, but remember this one thing, I am really good at raising the dead.” For a brief moment I did not understand what or why the Lord even speak such a word to me, but then suddenly I remembered that he had been repeatedly trying to tell me that, “Faith without works is dead”. My fears were attacking me to tempt me not to believe the understanding that the Lord had given to me, to keep in bondage to my own works, but the Lord had other ideas for me. Just like before, when he spoke this word to me, then comfort and peace swept over me like a flood, and in an instant, many anxieties, and fears, and shame were all swept away by his word. Then a peace and a calm that I had not experienced for such a long time returned to me. In a moment the Lord had brought me out of that desolate, dry, and dead wasteland to sit once again by the river of Life, and the presence of the Lord returned to me. Thanks be to Abba.

Proverbs 16:25 ASV There is a way which seemeth right unto men; But the end thereof are the ways of death.”

Even though my fears and anxieties were gone, I still felt so stupid for not being able to discern what the Lord had so persistently been trying to show me. I then saw the truth in that which is written in Job 33:14, “God speaks once, yea twice, (and in my case, at least 20 times), but man does not perceive”. This understanding was all so new to me that the only thing that I knew to do was to pray and ask the Lord to confirm for me that I was truly understanding the truth of that which he had just spoken to me. I asked, “Lord, seeing how contrary my understanding of this word was as compared to that which you spoke to me, would you confirm this word for me so that I might believe it without any doubts? Would you prove to me that this is really you? Would you prove to me that it is your works that are to accompany my faith?”

Luke 24:45 NIV “Then he (Jesus) opened their minds so that they could understand the scriptures.”

Romans 4:3-6 NKJ What does the Scripture say? “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.” Now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. However, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness. David says the same thing when he speaks of the blessedness of the man to whom God credits righteousness apart from works:

Then the Lord said to me and said, “In the books of the gospels, of whose works do they testify of? Was it not I that healed the sick? Was it not I that forgave sins? Was it not I that gave sight to the blind? Was it not I that raised the dead? Was it not I that cast out demons? Was it not also written of me that I opened the ears of my disciples so that they could understand the truth of the scriptures?” My heart was immediately was filled with joy and excitement that the Lord had just confirmed his word for me, that it was truly his works and not mine. I then answered, “Yes, Lord, you did perform all of these works!” Then the Lord asked me, “After I performed all the works that were asked of me, what would I then say to those who had been blessed by them?” I then considered this for only a moment before it suddenly came to me, and I answered saying, “Lord, I see, for after you performed anyone of these works, you would always say to them either, “Your faith has saved you”; or, “Your faith has made you whole”; or “Your faith has healed you”. Now I see Lord. Now I believe that this is right and truth, that if my faith is not accompanied by your works, then my faith is dead. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer; thank you so much for making your words plain and clear for me to understand.

Psalm 57:2 “I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth all things for me.”

The Lord also asked me if at any time did any come before him to testify of their own works instead of hoping to see the mighty works of God. For the first time in my walk, my eyes were opened to clearly see that there is truly two different kinds of faith; the first that stands in the works that men do to prove their faith, which comes from man’s wisdom and understanding of the scriptures, or the faith that stands in the power of God, which is taught by the wisdom and understanding that comes from above. The first faith, it is seen and demonstrates itself in the works that men do through their own power, their own zeal, their own understanding, and by their own determination. The fruit of this faith is iniquity and self-righteousness, the works that seem real and true in the sight of natural man. How else could the Lord demonstrate his power than in the works that he performs? I did not take me long before I realized how much better this faith was that the faith that only focused on what I had to do for myself; for he who walks in this faith walks alone because he does not see any need from God to perform his own works. I really liked the faith where the Lord, he who is God, does all of the works for me, because it meant that I would no longer feel alone, but that I could enjoy his presence when performed these works for me. I found myself totally revived, and excited, and refreshed with this restored belief in the Lord, like I had just reconnected with him who delights in doing the things that are impossible for us to do of ourselves. As I said before, “This understanding of faith changes (shakes) everything.”

I Corinthians 2:4,5 NIV “My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power.”

I then realized why I had been feeling so empty and dead in my walk, and it was because I had not been including him who is real and true in anything that I had been doing. I was thinking that I had to do everything, not at all allowing for the Lord to do anything. I then remembered all of the wonderful works that the Lord had done for me in the beginning, and how full my walk was with life because I had been asking the Lord to do things for me. It was then that I realized that I had actually gone astray from the path of life when I started believing that my faith should be proved by the works that I did, rather than the works that the Lord does. What greater evidence could a man have that he was walking in the strait and narrow path with God than to have God himself do the works that the Lord has required of us? One of the first fruits that I saw as result of this change in understanding was that I used to be afraid of reading the scriptures because I was always fearful that I might read of something that the Lord might require of me that I could not possibly do for myself. Now all that I had need of was he the faith to ask the Lord to do these things for me.

As peaceful as I was, fear then came upon me when I suddenly realized that I really did not know what the works of the Lord were that should accompany my faith. Even though the Lord had said to be, “Do not be afraid”, I saw that I was afraid. But the Lord, knowing the trouble in my heart, again comforted me when he led me to read that which is written concerning the apostles, when they all, including Jesus, got caught in that storm that was so bad that their boat got swamped out with water. Each one of these apostles was afraid, thinking that he was surely going to die soon. But when they woke Jesus up, he said to them in Mark 4:40 “Why are you so fearful? Why is it that you have "no" faith?" Wow, I thought. Here were these chosen apostles, those who had heard all of the sermons that Jesus had preached, as well as having witnessed just about every miracle that Jesus had performed; and still, just like me, they had no faith. I then felt comforted knowing that I was spiritually in the same boat as they were in. I then perceived that if “no faith” was not going to stop Jesus from working for them, then surely it was not going to stop Jesus from working for me either. But if I had no faith, then how was I going to get any of this new faith that stands in the power of God?

I was thinking about my “no faith” when the Spirit of the Lord reminded me of the only thing that the disciples ever asked Jesus to add to them, “Lord, increase our faith”. Wow, Lord, even our faith is in your hand. It was then that I began to perceive what John the Baptist meant when he said, “I must decrease so that he might increase”. How could I increase in the faith that stands in the power of God unless I first be willing to decrease in the faith that stands in the power of my own strength, my own zeal, my own confidence, and my own abilities. Like I said, “This changes everything”. I suppose that I am not unlike most other men in that I liked the idea of the “increasing”, but it is idea of the “decreasing” that I was fearful of. I was to later learn that it was not I that like the idea of my decreasing, but it was the spirit of fear that did not like that idea because it was from all my fears that this decrease would come. Then I thought about what all I was going to receive in exchange for what my decease, and became a no brainer. “I must decrease to the sins of doubt and unbelief before I could increase in the faith and belief that allows Father to work in me.

Philippians 1:6 “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

Then the Lord said, “I must first work in your belief in my words and your faith that I will perform my words for you”, says the Lord. “You must first believe that my words are true and that I desire to perform all things for you. I must increase your faith so that you may know and believe that I am well able to perform the impossible for you. I must work in your belief unto you believe that I love you, and that my love will never fail you. Let me increase your faith so that you may know that I am willing and able to perform all my promises for you. You must also trust me to wait for the time that I have appointed to perform all things for you. Remember Abraham, for he was strong in faith because he believed that I would perform the promise that I had given to him. Do not forget my words.” I then remembered what the Lord had spoken to me when he said, “Do not be afraid, for I am good at raising the dead”. I then thought, “Wow, if God could bring forth life out of Sarah’s dead womb when the natural circumstances dictated that it was not possible, then how much more will the Lord bring forth that which is living out of me when I believe?” I then said, “Lord, even though my faith has been dead, would you raise me up to be strong in faith and perfect in belief.” Then the Lord said, “As long as you are looking for me to perform the promises of my words in you, then your faith will not be dead, but very much alive. For I am faithful and true to all of my words, and to all those who believe them”, says the Lord. “Open the door to your heart, and ask me to work in you, and I will prepare your heart to receive the kingdom of God”. I then said within my heart, "If that is all that it takes is the believing and the asking, then truly this yoke that Jesus spoke of, it is truly light and easy. But what would happen if we do not ask? I do not want to know that answer.

Romans 4:19-21 NAS “Without becoming weak in faith he contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah's womb; yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform.”

Can you see faith? Can you touch belief? Can you hear trust? I do not care what a man believes, or that which he has faith and trust in, you still cannot see belief, or faith, or trust, even with 20/20 vision. When I walked in the faith that dictated to me that I had to do all of the works, I walked alone. I chose the good deeds and righteous works that I wanted to do, I chose how I wanted to do them, I chose when I wanted to do them, and I chose where I wanted to do them. Again, without me even seeing it, I had become lord and god over my own Christianity because it seemed like the right and true thing for me to do. When I started walking in the faith that stands in the power of God, this all changed too because the only way that I could walk in this path was to allow for the Lord to be my God. It was not up to me to decide what works the Lord needs to do, nor was it up to me to tell him how, or when, or where they needed to be done. when and where they should be done, for these things were in the hand of God. Not long after I started walking in this faith, the Lord spoke to me and said, “Mitt, I am not going to make you great and mighty in my sight, but I am going to become great and mighty in your eyes.” These were absolutely the most wonderful words that I could have heard the Lord say because I knew that the only way that the Lord could become great and mighty in my sight was for him to do great and mighty things for me. I did not know what these things were at the time, but I knew that the Lord was getting ready to start answering my prayers in ways that would be, as it is written, exceedingly abundantly above what I am to ask or to even think within my own imaginations. Now that is what I call letting God out of the box.

II Corinthians 5:7 ASV “For we walk by faith, not by sight.”

Not long afterwards, I was reading one morning in Matthew 9:20-22 about the woman that had that menstrous condition for 12 years. Even though Jesus was completely surrounded by a large crowd, she pressed her way through them all until she got close enough to reach out with her hand and touch the hem of his garment. Immediately she was healed. Suddenly the Lord spoke to me and asked, “Mitt, how many people there knew what had happened to this woman?” Well my first thought was that this woman had some kind of menstrous condition which was something that I felt like she would have advertised to the world. So I answered, “Lord, even though it seemed like you had one of the largest crowds that were ever around you, I do not think that any of them knew that this woman had been healed. And Lord, from that which is written, I do not even believe that you knew that she got healed because it says that you just felt power go out of you.” Then the Lord spoke to me and said, “So also are the great and mighty works that I desire to do for you. They are works in the places of your heart and in your mind that no one can see. If you will give yourself to me, then I will make these places to be beautiful in my sight; and when they become beautiful in my sight, they shall surely be beautiful in your eyes also. Are you willing to surrender your heart and your mind into my hands?” Yes Lord, I am willing. Make all of me beautiful in your sight!” At that moment my heart seemed so full of life and purpose again, even though I did not know exactly what these works were that the Lord desired to perform in me. My heart had greatly increase in hope, joy, faith, and the peace of God. I felt like I had truly been resurrected from the dead. I was alive again.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Job 33:27-30 He looketh upon men, and if any say, “I have sinned, and perverted that which was right, and it profited me not”; He will deliver his soul from going into the pit, and his life shall see the light. Lo, all these things worketh God oftentimes with man, to bring back his soul from the pit, to be enlightened with the light of the living.”

Isaiah 57:12 “I will declare your righteousness and your works, for they will not profit you.”

When I was an atheist, I experienced brief moments of happiness when everything went my way, but the stars in that life rarely lined up, even for a brief moment. From the time that I was a very young child, I had experienced any of the peace or joy that I have experienced since the Lord came into my life. I am so thankful that these precious that the Lord has allowed for me to taste of the goodness of his life, because it was that taste that turned me back to him when I had lost my focus and started walking in my own ways; the ways that seem right that only bring the death of lifeless thoughts. These thoughts were so miserable that it led me back to the Lord, asking for him to return me to the right path, the path that leads to life. One of the wonderful things that I have learned about Abba, Father is how much he greatly delights in forgiving us and blessing us, especially in the times that our fears would have us to believe that the opposite is real and true.

Romans 5:1 NKJ “Therefore, being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

So many seek for a life filled with peace and joy through wealth, or through their own works and efforts, or through their own will, but in the end, hopelessness and emptiness seem to be all that they end up with. I am so thankful that the Lord has opened the eyes of my heart to see that the invaluable gifts of peace and joy come through believing on the Lord; believing that what is word is able to do, he is well able to perform. The joy and the peace that I had experienced when the Lord first called me, fled from me in a flash the moment pride deceived me into trying to this walk this without Abba, Father. Death and desolation soon followed. But when I turned back to him, death and desolation fled away, and peace, and joy, and faith, and praise quickly returned to me. And to think that all that I did was to humble myself, turn to him, and ask for his guidance and help; and then boom, life returned. How can we have any peace or joy unless we really believe and have faith that Abba, Father, the Lord God almighty, is completely in control over all the circumstance and situations that arise in our life. It we do not believe, then fear will be surely accompany us and be our reality as we face the uncertain circumstances and situations that daily come.

Romans 15:13 ASV “Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope, in the power of the Holy Spirit.”

 Colossians 3:15 NIV Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

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Mitt Jeffords

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